It's been a day...

It’s taken me months to put everything in perspective and yet, I am still at a loss for words, but I will try. Writing about the emotions and feelings of The Way is scary, vulnerable, and a feeling of being exposed. But here goes…

This is goodbye.

Goodbye to the pains, the sufferings, the "not being good enough". Goodbye to the OLD me.

Living a beautiful life but still feeling disappointed, a beautiful looking life but still disappointing, everything “beautiful”, but in the end... disappointing. This feeling begin to slip away when I met the first of many friends on The Way. I remember it like it was yesterday, sitting on a bench by the river in Najera, Spain, drinking wine out of a campfire mug with the quote: “Dopiju A Jdu” (if I spelled this wrong, please forgive me!!). The translation: I drink then I must go, which now thinking about it explains our relationship to a tee. Sad to say but true. In the little time we spent together, it was a whirlwind from pushing me to keep on walking to getting kicked out of an albergue… He taught me what it means to live life and not to care what other people think; to truly be ME… From trying olives off the tree to our first Cola Cao. I am thankful for being pushed to try new things and putting myself out there. I have brought this into my daily life, and it has changed me for the better. But sadly, halfway through we pulled apart, had our last drink, and parted ways.

The Way is funny. It draws so many close, then pulls them apart - each person impacting your life in ways they don’t even realize.

This is where the next friend comes into play. I felt a little part of home when I meet someone else from the US. He was so welcoming; we drank amazing wine, had a yummy dinner, and enjoyed a deep conversation. A social studies teacher… I thought to myself "oh boy, what did I get myself into", but we both were from The States and I could get a little slice of home. One question he asked me was “Do you like yourself?” and I was taken back from this and gave some half-a**ed answer trying to end the topic because I had no clue. I had never really thought about this, just living and moving forward day by day. The question stuck with me throughout the walk. I know the answer now, and I thank this person for having an impact on my life and a new way of thinking.

The Way is funny. It brings so many close, some people impacting your life, but you not impacting theirs. You were not even a part of their “Way”.

Another encounter, another friend. I didn’t know at the beginning that he would play a big part in my Way, but he did. Showing me what pure passion, beauty, and love looked like. I thank this man for letting me walk with him on day two. Around 6:30 in the morning, I started walking and swear I saw eyes in the forest. I turned and ran full speed back towards the last town I stayed in. Running into him on the path, I said “don’t go, there is an animal”, he offered to walk with me and we started on the path again. On this day I learned a ton about the culture of Spaniards, his love for his family, and his country. Never thinking I would run into him again brought sadness into my heart because he had so many amazing stories and touched my heart with them. Our paths did cross one more time a couple of days before arriving in Santiago. I learned he had oral surgery the night before and, yet, he was still walking so he could meet his mom at the end of his 'walk - in honor of his father'. This taught me how deep love and passion for a family could be.

The Way is funny. It brings so many close and teaches you so many valuable life lessons.

To my sidekick, the one I spent the second half on The Way with, I can’t describe how thankful I am for you. From exploring all the amazing towns to watching movies on an iPhone in bunk beds. You were always there, right by my side driving me, watching me (ugly) dance through my shin splint pains, and pushing through a terrible cold. When I wanted to give up, you were there, telling me I could make it 40k to the next town even when I thought I couldn’t. You pushed me. You made me better. You made me believe in myself again. You made a forever impact on my life. I am thankful to call you a lifelong friend and I can’t wait to visit your country. “You can only see things clearly with your heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye.” Thank you for teaching me this quote, it will forever play a part in my life.

The Way is funny. It brings so many close and I will strive to keep you close in my thoughts and the way I live my life.

These are only a couple of lessons learned and only a few of the people that I met on The Way; so many more have touched my heart and taught me so much and I thank y’all for that!